hahaha...
um, i don't know where that came from. i've been plagued by the giggle bug all damn day. o_O; anyhow, not too much goin on in my life. the soap opera has died down, and i believe i have made my choice. ernest and i can just stay friends for a while longer. that's the way it seems to supposed to be. (if that makes any sense... o_O;) hrm, i get to sleep in tonight. yay! the underclassmen are taking PSATs tomorrow morning for three hours, and since i'm a senior i don't have to take it. hahaha! i'm getting a ride straight to votech from my friend leah. i'm skipping homeschool, ten minutes just isn't worth my time. they can count me absent for all i care. ~o~;; mmhmm...anyways, i'm really bored. >< i need something to do. *yawns* before i fall asleep... hrm, i'm gonna stay up a little later tonight, since i get to sleep in anyways. hahaha! o_O;; kay i'm out, before i hurt myself... hehe. boys are fun...

~ciao

Punctured by windy on Monday, October 14, 2002 at 09:07 p.m..
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*yaaaaawn*
man, i am so tired. >< i rode my bike to the mall today. wee fun, more iron into my already toned legs. ^~* anyhow, so here goes my day. i got up at frickin 9:30, got int the shower and all that, then did my hair in some cute loose twisties. (god i love them so much, i'm leaving them in for the rest of the weekend, maybe even till monday.) all of that took me an hour. i sat around and fiddled on my computer, configured my guestbook, so now if you wanna say something, anything at all, click the link after any of my entries. anyhow, i was just goofing off, blowing some time, till about 1:30 or so. i called ernest to see if he might wanna hang out. he had a doctors appointment at 11:15, and he was diagnosed with bronchitis. (what fun.) so he's at home in bed, taking his medication like a good boy. he said he'd call me later tonight if he was feeling better. (figure the odds on that one.) since i knew he wouldn't be hanging out with me today, i rode my bike to the mall. i get there, and guess who's working! eric! yay! ^o^ so i got to hang out with him while i was at the mall. played some ddr, of course. alison, bobby, melissa, and a couple other cool people were there too. eric got off at 5, and he still hung around afterwards. i have a lot of fun when i'm just goofing around with eric. i think i'm starting to like him more than ernest. @_@ he was nibbling on my neck every once in a while. *shivers* that's not cool, you can't nibble on my neck. not unless you wanna be jumped on. ^__^;;

okay, here's my dilema: mom likes ernest a lot. mom thinks eric is way too immature, even for me. (yes eric, mom thinks you're immature, but i think you're fun.) ernest doesn't even know what his objectives are. and lastly, i'm torn between waiting for ernest and moving on. i hate dilemas. >

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay... i'm finished now. anyhow, mom got home from work, and rode her bike to the mall to meet me there, and from there we went to schlotzky's deli for dinner. (yum yum) i had invited eric, but he couldn't make up his mind whether or not he wanted to go or not, so he didn't join us. (baka ¬¬) then we rode our bikes back home. i tried to get a hold of eric to ask him if he wanted to see a movie, but he wasn't home and he had left the arcade. so that plan went up in smoke, and so here i am, and there i go again. peace!

~ciao

Punctured by windy on Saturday, October 12, 2002 at 08:40 p.m..
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*yawn*...

my step-mom sent me that today. i've gotten it before, but never really cared too much about it until now. o_O it's so true, every one of them, especially if you do take the time to think about each one and relate them to yourself. *sighs* sometimes i think too much, but most of the time i don't think enough, or i don't think at all. ~o~;;

~ciao

Punctured by windy on Friday, October 11, 2002 at 10:27 p.m..
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yorokonde! (no, i don't know why...)
hrm, nope, still don't know why. ^-^* don't ask...

anyways, nothing's happened since the last time i updated. ernest called me around 7 last night asking why i didn't call him earlier. o_O* where'd that come from? he thought i wouldv'e wanted to come over since that's what i tried to do tuesday. ~o~;; today i called him after school like he asked me to, and i suggested maybe he could come over later after he finally got back home. (he wasn't home when i called him.) it's 8:30... he hasn't called. no biggie, i didn't really expect him to, but i had really hoped he would. he'll probably either call me just before i got o bed or after i go to bed, like around 11 or 12. he usually does that... ~o~;;

i drove to pick my sister up from school today. had to drive the truck though since mom takes my baby to work every day. >< she's not even home now, mom brought home our friends truck, so they have her, for some odd reason that isn't good enough for me. i hate it when they let them have her. ;_;

*rolls on the floor* i downloaded the first two episodes of a very funny anime. it's called dragon-half. it's basically about this girl who's mother is a dragon, and her father is a dragon slayer. when she was born, she came as a dragon-half, hatched from an egg, with a human body, plus a dragon tail, horns, wings, and fire breath. (sweet, i wanna be a dragon-half too!! *-*) anyhow, she's in love with this super idol, who also just happens to be a dragon slayer. ah the tangled webs we weave. quite hilarious actually. the enemies are all half-wits. ¬¬

yay!! tomorrow's friday. i'm so glad! this week actually went by pretty fast. ^o^ that's always a good thing. i'll be home alone all day saturday, well, at least till around 6pm. jim and becca are going camping at the races, they're leaving at 8am and won't be back till sunday night. mom's working overtime on saturday from 8-6, so i've got the place to myself. yippie! erm, it'd be better if i had friends to share the house with, but i may or may not, it depends no how things go. ~o~;; that's all i guess...baibai!

~ciao

Punctured by windy on Thursday, October 10, 2002 at 08:26 p.m..
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no quiz, just a new episode

and now we return to "days of alissa's life". that's what my friend eric has dubbed my soap opera. something new happens every day, so why the hell not? ~o~;;

so what happens to our damsel in distress in this episode? (me? a damsel? keke, don't make me laugh...anyways.) well, this afternoon i called ernest to say hi and what-not. i wanted to clarify why he was mad at me. it was because of all the other guys. (eric, stevo, and brian (steveo's friend).) he doesn't care about it anymore though, so i got right to the point. i had planned on asking if it was ok if i rode my bike over there to talk to him. he was tired and wasn't getting up for anything or anyone, so he told me to talk to him on the phone. i would have rather told him in person, so i said it could wait, but he insisted that it couldn't, so i told him. i told him that i still cared a lot about him and still hoped that we could try again sometime soon if not later. i need to know if he even wants to try again. last night he kissed me, and when i asked him what his objective was, he said he didn't even know, and that maybe he shouldn't have done that since neither of us know what it meant. so i told him that he needs to find out what his objective is soon, so i will know what steps i need to take and what ones i need not bother with. i can'tsay whether or not he took all of this well or heavily, but i hope it all gets resolved soon.

stepping away from the drama, tonight was "styling with the stars" at my cosmetology school, so my mom took me and my sister to my school so i could cut my sisters hair. i got points and hours for being there, so it's all gravy.

i've developed a new style in drawing. i've drawn several girls during my classes because i'm so bored. today i drew an earth faerie in english. i took her home and transfered her to my sketchbook after drawing a fire faerie as well. i'm going to bring my book with me so i can draw an air and water faerie as well to complete the set. i haven't decided whether or not i'm going to draw a spirit or not. i probably will, especially if i get bored in english again. ^^;; anyhow, the two faes look totally awesome!! i wish they were real...reality sucks. *sniffles*

~ciao

Punctured by windy on Tuesday, October 8, 2002 at 09:29 p.m..
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i'm bored o_O ...QUIZ time!

Your Existing Situation
Active, but feels that insufficient progress or reward is being made for the effort exerted.

Your Stress Sources
The existing situation is disagreeable. Feels lonely and uncertain as she has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and wants to stand out from the rank and file. This sense of isolation magnifies the need into a compelling urge, all the more upsetting to her self-sufficiency because of the restraint she normally imposes on herself. Since she wants to demonstrate the unique quality of her own character, she tries to suppress this need for others and affects an attitude of unconcerned self-reliance to conceal her fear of inadequacy, treating those who criticize her behavior with contempt. However, beneath this assumption of indifference she really longs for the approval and esteem of others.

Your Restrained Characteristics
Willing to participate and to allow herself to become involved, but tries to fend off conflict and disturbance in order to reduce tension.

Feels that she is receiving less than her share and that there is no one on who she can rely for sympathy and understanding. Pent-up emotions make her quick to take offense, but she realizes that she has to make the best of things as they are.

Your Desired Objective
Suffering from the effects of those things which are being rejected as disagreeable, and is strongly resisting them. Just wants to be left in peace.

Your Actual Problem
The need for esteem--for the chance to play some outstanding part and make a name for herself--has become imperative. She reacts by insisting on being the center of attention, and refuses to play an impersonal or minor role.

Your Actual Problem #2
Disappointment and the fear that there is no point in formulating fresh goals have led to anxiety, emptiness, and an unadmitted self-contempt. Her refusal to admit this leads to her adopting a headstrong and defiant attitude.

the accuracy is so uncanny it's scary. @_@ anyhow, not just a quiz this time, not now. ernest just left my house about 15 min ago. i was out front talking to stevo and his friend brian. anyways, not important. ernest came over with my mom on her way home from work. again he joined us for dinner and then we sat in the living room and watched rollerball. he was being his usual self, flirting on and off. it's fun for a while, but then you start to wonder where he's trying to get with it, if anywhere at all. i don't know what's going on in his mind, or if he wants anything to do with me in any more sense than a friend. yea, i know he likes me, yea, he knows i like him, but still, does he want either of us to act on those feelings? i can't tell, and i let him know that. when mom got home after dropping him off, she said he was mad at me. well great, because i'm mad at him too, because he won't quit playing games. he was talking to someone on the phone earlier when we first sat down in the living room, and he was telling that person that they needed to quit playing games. well, it seems to me that he needs to do the same. eric called me three times while he was here, and he "flipped" out because i was talking to another guy on the phone while he was her. i'm sure he was only joking around, but i can't be positive. either way, the game is driving me nuts. *tears her hair out* i probably should save some of it for the next time... *lets go* i'm out, peace.

~ciao

Punctured by windy on Monday, October 7, 2002 at 06:01 p.m..
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okay, today's a big improvement

hmm, lesse... i called ernest at about 12 this afternoon to see if were still on for today. lucky! he still wanted to hang out, but he got drunk last night and wasn't feeling well, so he slept for another half an hour, and i picked him up at 2. i drove to flipper mccoys and we played pool once, then decided to go see what was playing. we both wanted to see red dragon, but i'm only 16, and it's rated r, so that was out of the question. i called my mom and found out that the tuxedo was playing at 7:15 at the pembroke theater, so we were gonna head over there after dinner. we went to the mall to get him the new linkin park cd, and we went back to flippers twice and played some more pool. out of 5 games he only won one of them, fair and square, but i only won one fair and square too. i won the other three by default because he hit the 8 ball in on accident. ^^;; anyhoo, i drove back home and we had tacos for dinner. yum yum. *-* mom and i gave him his dragon and wizard ceramic that he wanted, and i think he loved it, well, at least liked it a lot, lol. erm, well we got back online to see if anything else good was playing before we decided, and we ended up going to blockbuster and renting blade 2 and rollerball. we watched blade 2 when we got home, but it's a school so we only had time for one. speaking of school, i should get to bed... *shakes head* in a minute...

well that's all that happened. now we get to the emotional drama. he knows that i like him a lot still, and he still likes me too. he still cares, too. i tried to give him the ring back while we were watching the movie because i knew he wanted it back, but he took it off and handed it back when it was over and asked why i put it back on. i didn't answer, cause i'm stupid... *sighs* oh well. now eric knows that i still have feelings for ernest, and i'm very sorry if this news upsets him in any way. i like eric and all, but i can't just up and forget about ernest. know what i mean? i'm utterly lost...

Congratulations, you're a Drac, a seductive fae.
What kind of female faerie are you?

~ciao

Punctured by windy on Sunday, October 6, 2002 at 10:04 p.m..
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hehe...homecumming...LMAO

yea, well, it kinda blowed. i mean, it was fun because i went with eric cause i always have fun around him, but they played crappy music. (course, they always do, so what else is new.) the only good songs they played were no doubt, train, and the perculator. (heehee) then some smart guy decided to knock some of the dj's equipment over and injure the dj so bad he was bleeding. so, the dance was cut short by an hour, everyone left at 10 instead of 11. pretty much, it really sucked. ~o~;;

let's back track to wednesday, the 2nd... yea, so eric was my date to homecumming, so he went with me and my mom to help pick out my dress. after going to five different stores and ending back at the first one to get my little black dress, we went up to the arcade to see who was up there. ernest was still there, so i got my hug from him and then showed elissa my dress. ernest's over there talkin to eric about what's goin on between me and eric, which is, we're friends, and we're hanging out. then ernest asks me who i'm goin to the dance with, and i point at eric. ernest jumps at eric and eric jumps back. nothing happens between the two, but ernest storms off to the back of the arcade, punching a token machine on his way, and disappears back there for a while. then he comes back by and says he'll be right back and punches yet another token machine on his way out. time to go...we go home. at about 11:30 he calls me that night. i'm about to get in trouble cause it's a school night, so i tell him i'll call him thursday after school. peachy, now we move on to thursday...

i get home from school and call ernest, but he's getting into trouble, which, i find out later concerns the arcade where he works getting robbed the night before, wednesday. i'm not even getting into that. he calls me back and i find out he's at the mall, and since i'm heading up there, he'll meet me at the eagle mart gas station on the corner, so i put my rollerblades on and make my way up there. we sit and talk for a while, and the best part about the whole ordeal was that he told me several times that he missed me. we flirted back and forth with each other like we were best friends, but then it died down and we barely exchanged two words. both of us and my mom were mad at me for not asking him to go to the dance with me. but it made sense to me that when the relationship ended, so did the date...guess not. we both left and headed home at about 4:15. at about 10-11ish he called me on my cell to talk to me and say hi. he told me that he talked to eric earlier, that eric had better take good care of me. he said to tell him if eric did anything wrong. the real heart-breaker came when he told me he still cared about me. *cries* my life is a never-ending soap opera...

so here i am friday, trying to get my permit after school. can't do it, couldn't find my fucking birth certificate. great... go home in a pissy mood, which fades after about half an hour after i tear the house apart looking for it, and finally find it in the one place i didn't look in from the start: jim's file folder, with their marriage liscense. *rips hair out* it drove me to tears!! oh well, anyways, after that i kinda sat around all day. ernest called me to say hi and stuffs, and we made "plans" to hang out all day sunday. he also had the strength to wish me a good time at the dance. such a sweetheart...

now we come back to today, well, *looks at the clock* yesterday actually. i got up early to go take my permit test again, and passed this time. i drove the truck home from the dmv, drove the camaro home from the ceramic shop, drove the camaro to the mall, and drove her home from the mall. every time i drove i got compliments, both my parents said i was doing great. lucky!! i started getting ready for the dance at about 5:30, by getting in the tub. eric picked me up at 7pm, and after that *insert first paragraph from above*. eric and i went to starbucks after it was cut short, then came back to my house to hang out. he didn't leave till almost 1am. now i'm here...

i'm hoping that the "plan" to hang out with ernest all day today is still effective. despite everything with eric, i still miss him a lot. *sighs* so much drama... well, i'm finished for this morning. see you all tonight, i'm sure something will happen, especially if i do see ernest. *hugs to all*

~ciao

Punctured by windy on Sunday, October 6, 2002 at 01:21 a.m..
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weee...not finished yet... o_O

~ciao

Punctured by windy on Friday, October 4, 2002 at 11:08 p.m..
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quizzzzzzzzzzes ^-^;;
weeee... quizes are very obsessive *-* anyhow... i hung out with eric at the mall today. ^^; it was lots of fun because he's really funny and really sweet and even though he has a girlfriend i really like him a lot. >< i'm so terrible... and that was a lot of random 'ands' o_O anyhow, i don't know where the whole thing with ernest is or isn't going. i think i'm gonna just move on, seeing as how that seems to be what he wants me to do. last night he was mad at everyone because donny and other people told him that donny told me he got back together with april not too long after he broke up with me. obviously that's not true, seeing as how i never heard a word about it. it really upset me at frist because he doesn't know who to believe anymore, but it doesn't really matter to me anymore. *shrugs* oh well. that's it i suppose... here're my quizes. hope you have fun if you take them yourself. ^^;;

Wierd. Pretty. Random. Which C of I girl are you most like? find out at quizlets.tk! Quiz by krysten for her own amusment. Based on the group blog The Cliffs Of Insanity

~ciao

Punctured by windy on Saturday, September 28, 2002 at 10:53 p.m..
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*sighs*

man, i'm really bummed out now. i think ernest is mad at me. he was being pretty mean to me earlier when i was at the arcade. he worked yesterday till 11am, so i couldn't go see him then, but he's working till 8pm tonight, so i went to see him today. everything was okay until about an hour or so before i left. he was pretty rude i think, getting an attitude and all that... he did call me that night though, and last night too, even though we didn't talk long last night because he didn't feel like talking when i called him back. he called when i was eating dinner at like 6:45pm, so i called him back at 7:30-sih, but he didn't feel like talking. i really hope he isn't mad at me. so needless to say i didn't ask him about homecoming. i just don't think i'm going. *shrugs* oh well no biggie.

while i was at the mall i put in an application for payless shoes. i'm hoping i'll get the job. she told me to call on sunday and talk to ellen. *crosses fingers* wish me luck. ^-^*

well that's about it i suppose. i may or may not get back on later tonight. either way, baibai!

~ciao

Punctured by windy on Friday, September 27, 2002 at 06:08 p.m..
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waaaiiiii!!! *_*

spiffy layout!! i made it myself. ^-^ (kinda proud but not so proud.) you see, i don't really like the background, but it fits...well enough at least. o_O *shrugs*

anyways, nothing really happened today. i called ernest like i was supposed to when i got home from school, and he's supposed to call me back. lesse, it's quarter after 8pm now... i go to bed at 10pm... i really hope he calls me before then because i really don't wanna be mad at him. ;_; i wonder if he's working tomorrow... guess i'll find out when/if he calls me. if he is, i'm going to the mall. ^o^ anyways, nothing else to say, cept baibai!

~ciao

Punctured by windy on Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 08:17 p.m..
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